Tim Grover said it best in his book Relentless.
To be clear: one great performance–or even a great season–doesn't make you a cleaner [relentless]; you’re supposed to play well, that’s your responsibility. It’s the ability to repeat that result over and over, season after season, never satisfied, never letting up, that makes someone truly relentless.
If relentless can be summed up in one phrase or one sentence, it's this: sustained excellence. It's not about winning once, but how many times. It's not about getting to the peak, it's about creating your own--setting the standard.
And getting to the top is one thing, staying there--sustained excellence--is another thing. But if that's what relentless is, how do you get there? How do you maintain a level of excellence year in and year out? It's a fine balance of obsession, a lot of delusion, and a little bit of "I don't give a shit."
Relentless is never satisfied. As Tim Grover said,
To be the best, whether in sports or business or any other aspect of life, it’s never enough just to get to the top, you have to stay there, and then you have to climb higher, because there’s always someone right behind you. Most people are willing to settle for “good enough.” But if you want to be unstoppable, those words mean nothing to you
There's a story I laughed at when I first read it about Ted Turner. As he was building CNN into an empire, he saw his name on the Forbes richest Americans list for the first time. When he saw his ranking, even his name on the list, it wasn't joy that filled him. All he said was, “Hmmm. I can do a little better.”
Never satisfied. That's relentless. It's a hunger for more like a tiger is always looking out for its prey.
Got to a million dollars? Great. How do you get to ten?
Won a championship? Great. How do you repeat?
Product was a hit? Great. How do you make it better?
Relentless doesn't care how much it wins, it always wants more. More wins. More success. More money. Not because it wants to prove someone wrong, but because it is obsessed with how far it can go.
It will turn some people off. You might lose some relationships. You'll have to make more sacrifices than you want, but when you're willing to flirt with craziness--relentlessness--, you set your eyes on becoming limitless.
But it stems deeper than that. When you're never satisfied, you never stop. When you never stop, you run into more and more walls. If you want to break through those, you have to become mentally unstoppable.
Grover writes,
The fact is, you can’t train your body–or excel at anything–before you train your mind. You can’t commit to excellence until your mind is ready to take you there. Teach the mind to train the body. Physical dominance can make you great. Mental dominance is what ultimately makes you unstoppable.
Roman philosopher Seneca has one of my favorite quotes of all time,
The body should be treated rigorously, that it may not be disobedient to the mind.
To become mentally unstoppable, you have to go through hell. Physical pain and discomfort need to become your best friends. Just like you fuel yourself with food and energy, feed yourself misery and pain. Train intensely. Do a difficult task. Hop in a cold tub.
When you find that misery and pursue it often, you build a muscle unlike any other. A muscle that is ready for any battle, any obstacles, any hardship.
The beautiful thing about relentless is that very few view it as that--beautiful. It's crazy. It's delusional. It's different. The world will despise it, discourage it, downright try to get rid of it. Why? Because it's hard? Why? Because it turns others off. Why? Because it's what it takes to give your dreams a chance.
If you're crazy enough to be relentless, your dreams are never that far away.
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You can check out the podcast on Tim Grover for a deeper dive into becoming relentless
You can check out other episodes of the Greatness Podcast, where I dive into the lives and stories of the world's greatest individuals.
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